I believe we humans, in many, many ways, are nothing more
complicated than plants. Though, this comparison alone brings to the mind all
of the manner in which plants can be and are quite complicated. First, let’s
look at the simple ways in which humans are like plants. Put yourself next to
an apple tree. Both started from a seed. Seed was cultivated. Seed started
growing due to the surroundings. Seed blossomed. Throughout it’s life to this
point in time, that seed has become what it is through lessons learned,
someone’s love and care, life sustaining essentials. All sounds pretty
simplistic.
Now, complications can be seen when you begin dissecting all
things that took that seed into what it has become. First, the seed needed to
be cared for in order to blossom. This took love, patience, and attention to be
given by an outside source requiring the seed to be dependent upon this source. The blossomed seed now begins learning. The more love, patience etc that the blossom receives, the more trusting it becomes, making it more and more dependent upon the giving source. However, there are times when that source is no longer available. This hurts the blossom and teaches the downfall to being dependent upon another. The blossom shows this hurt by wilting, not producing it's own seed or not nurturing the existing seed(s).
Throughout the life of this blossom, lessons are learned about love, dependency, nourishment, stability, and resiliency. Self sufficiency is a tough lesson that is only taught through pain, negligence, suffering and heart ache. But, these are all lessons learned from the time that the seed is planted and throughout the life of the Apple tree.
The same is true of humans. We are a product of everything that is poured into us from the time of conception throughout our lives. Some of these things are good and positive, some, not so much. With the lessons that I have had taught to me throughout my 43 years, focusing on the bad right now, I learned that I am unworthy, undesirable, less than good, I could go on but it becomes tedious. But, I have also been blessed with good things (and people) being poured into me, when I allow it. Here's the thing though, I don't depend upon any one person or thing. It's already known that I will be let down. So, when I have become dependent upon someone, I tend to suffocate them through my learning. I want to know every tiny, minute detail about what makes them tick. Especially, I am devouring everything I can about how they find their happiness, how they stay in the light, how they decide that they are good, worthy, desirable, etc. I devour this information and store it and draw off of it over and over and over in order to improve these things about myself.
This is especially true regarding faith and how God feels about and see me. I crave learning from others so strong in their faith that they can allow that faith to lead them through the smallest and into the greatest areas of their lives. I don't know how to do this and I crave learning how to submit to travelling through the rest of my life by being led by someone who could love me so very much. I have found such a dependable source but my access to them is so very limited and threatened. I am, unfortunately, very independently co-dependent. I know how to learn, but I do not know how to step into the unknown part of learning on my own. I need direction and I need direction from someone who has not only the knowledge of this subject, but the confidence of having this knowledge.
So, to those who has the knowledge, love, patience etc that others need in order to grow, don't give up and walk away, look for a way to teach what you know so that the plants you are given do not have stunted growth. My rainbow in all of this craziness? I am still a planted seed that has blossomed and continues to grow. I can't see tomorrow but I can say that tomorrow, I will have grown to be more than I am today.
All my love, Me
