New Beginnings

Transform v. change or alter completely in nature, form or function (Webster's Dictionary)
Begin v. to start (Webster's Dictionary)
Transform v. convert, metamorphose, reconstruct (Webster's Thesaurus)
Begin v. to initiate, start, set in motion, give birth to (Webster's Thesaurus)
Transformed (Gk. metamorphoo) used of the change of the moral character for the better ( Unger's Bible Dictionary)
Beginning (Heb. re'shit, "first")  commencement of time (Unger's Bible Dictionary)
Transformation: tear down the old, build new (Judges 6:25-26) be transformed, renew your mind (Romans 12:2) new attitude of your mind (Ephesians 4:23)

I have been surrounded by butterflies lately, A LOT! We have some really tall wild flowers planted by our walk way that continue to bloom and for about 2 weeks now I have been watching butterflies fluttering from one flower to another.  We even watched a large beautiful Monarch the other day for awhile and snapped some really pretty pictures of it.  This has had me thinking about how a butterfly or moth comes to be what it is, through a complete transformation or metamorphosis. They completely change from their original form through and through into a different form, through and through.

Of course, this brought me to another train of thought.  They get a new beginning. A brand new start. A new life.  How many times daily, weekly, monthly, yearly do we wish we could start over? I know personally, I wish that alot.  Starting over from mistakes made.  Starting over from things said.  Beginning from a different point or lesson learned.  Then I think about some of the times in my life that I have been able to start over.  Moving to a new town. Going back to school.  A new job.  A new marriage. Teaching Sunday School.  Giving up teaching. What does it really mean to be truly transformed 'through and through'?

I think I know after watching these butterflies and thinking about it so much, but I had to pray. And then, I was given the answer. My anxiety has to be set aside. My fears, need a new placement in my life. My depression, need to let it go. My negative, pessimistic attitude has to be erased. All of these things and more must be eradicated from my life in order to make room for...God. The creator of new life. The giver of second chances. The provider of rainbows. We cannot be truly transformed if we hold on to old things. We must set these things at His feet and look up into His face.  Only by His grace and presence in our lives can we truly start over. 

I am a new person.  I have been transformed.  I will begin again. I will allow His grace to rain down on my face!  Much Love, Me.

Your Strength and Sheild

"I AM your strength and shield.  I plan out each day and have it ready for you, long before you arise from bed.  I also provide the strength you need each step of the way.  Instead of assessing your energy level and wondering about what's on the road ahead, concentrate on staying in touch with Me.  My Power flows freely into you through our open communication.  Refuse to waste energy worrying, and you will have strength to spare.  Whenever you start to feel afraid, remember that I am your Shield." 1.31.12 Jesus Calling

So I read today's devotion and it made me think about all the walls that I have built up to protect myself.  There's the 'I don't want them to get too close so they can't hurt me' wall, yeah, that crumbled.  Then there's the 'I don't want to let them in because they will judge me' wall, yep, that one's gone too. There's the 'don't step out and speak up and they won't notice you' wall; I've rebuilt that one MANY times!!  Then I think about the times that I looked to God to protect me while I did as He instructed.  Guess what? There was no crumbling, no disappearing and no need to rebuild!  Recently (like just before Christmas!) I had decided to finally stop worrying and give a very heavy problem to God to handle.  It was a problem that was sure to require my having to rebuild, but I just couldn't keep carrying the weight of it any longer. It's amazing to me, after MONTHS of worrying and praying and trying, just 2 DAYS after honestly giving it to Him, the problem was solved and didn't require any effort on my part! The night I gave it to Him I slept the best I had slept in months.  A week after He took over, I took a deep breath!  His protection is stronger and more protective that any wall we can build, any worry we can fall to and any pain that we can endure!  Today's Rainbow? The peace of knowing I am protected in all situations.  Much Love, Me.

Thoughts Can Be Rainbows Too

"Worship ME only.  Whatever occupies your mind the most becomes your god.  Worries, if indulged, develop into idols.  Anxiety gains a life of its own, parasitically infesting your mind.  Break free from this bondage by affirming your trust in Me and refreshing yourself in My presence.  What goes on in your mind is invisible, undetectable to other people.  But I read your thoughts continually, searching for evidence of trust in Me.  I rejoice when your mind turns toward Me.  Guard your thoughts diligently; good thought-choices will keep you close to Me." From "Jesus Calling: Seeking Peace in His Presence" - a daily devotional.

So, I read this today and something immediately stands out to me, "Anxiety gains a life of its own, parasitically infesting your mind".  Wow. That is very true.  I know when I give in to my anxieties I can't seem to break out of them.  One leads to another and to another, etc.  Like a parasite in my mind.  When this happens, I usually get trapped until the current situation changes and forces me to refocus my attention on the new thing.  The next thing that stands out to me is "what goes on in your mind...searching for evidence of trust..." So, part of anxiety is saying to yourself 'I know they can see, tell, think...' and this statement makes it clear that 'they' have no idea what's really going on in my head. So I can be confident, assured, strong even bold because 'they' have no idea how weak and insecure I really am.  But then, to know that when, in an anxiety blow-out I say 'please God, I need you' He is already there waiting for a glimpse of my trust in Him! That's why the help comes so quickly after that statement.  He was already in my mind and was waiting to see just that little blip of faith.  Today's rainbow comes in knowing if I focus on Him, my parasitic anxiety can be contained.