Have you ever given thought to how powerful the words that you speak or write are to the person who receives them? I have often desired to be talented with words, I absolutely adore reading something that is well written. However, I have also been on the receiving end of the power that those same words can exhibit. It's not always good.
"You're too fat". "You're not very pretty." "That was a stupid thing to say". There's really a lot more that I could draw from. Painful, to this day, some of those words that may have been heard or read decades ago. People just don't always think about the power they have with something as simple as the alphabet. I watch a video online today that was created by a high school senior for her senior project, it was about bullying. It gave intense examples of the power of ones words to another person.
But, have you then taken the time to think about the power of the words that you do not speak? Those unspoken words can be just as painful to the receiver, sometimes even more painful. Sometimes, there is such conflict caused by what is spoken and what is unspoken that the receiver feels lost, used, set aside, hurt and even foolish. You may say you love someone, that you want a future with them, then as time has passed and these words are no longer heard so they are asked for, you say nothing. The conflict that can come from that is too painful to imagine. Maybe you avoid answering a question. Maybe you answer with "things are fine as they are" or "I wouldn't change anything right now". The receiver of those words can read so very much in to those words.
I have been in an alphabetical turmoil lately and there are many degrees to my hell. What could I have said or done wrong? Why can't it be that one? How could I try harder to fix it, or get the answer I want? I wish I could hear your thoughts. I wish I could know how you feel. I wish I knew what you wanted. How can I help? Oh, geez but I could go on.
But, in the middle of this turmoil, I have decided to change the way I think, or at least try. People will ALWAYS disappoint and hurt you ( I mean me). They are only human. Humans are full of errors. Sometimes the words they say, they mean. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes they choose not to say things for fear of hurting you/me. Sometimes, it's because they don't want to risk being hurt. So, though we cannot give up on humans, I have chosen to focus instead on the spoken words that never change, always provide truth, always show real emotion and never intend to cause pain.
My rainbow through this turmoil is The Bible...God's Word(s). "But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him." 1 John 2:5
This is what I hope drives me through my life, looking for this kind of love in others. Spoken words won't be needed. Unspoken words will be understood. Confusion can be resolved. Be kind with the alphabet, you do not know how it will be received.
All my love, Me.
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Understanding in the End
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of something and be overwhelmed with questions? How did I end up here? What is the point of this situation? Where will I end up at the end of this situation? So on and so on...questions, doubts, worries, wishes...really no end to it.
I have had a roller coaster of these situations this past year or so (maybe closer to 2 years) in which I have questioned myself so much over the recent past, I believe I am out of questions, well, at least for a moment. But, I have had a breakthrough recently that came, believe it or not, through the death and loss of my daddy. February 22, 2014 will be a date that will forever resound so very loudly in my head, not only was it my parents 40th wedding anniversary, but it was the day that the man I called daddy left my physical self. Just a few short months later, I also lost the woman I called Mama (yes, 2 sets of parents & I know I was blessed!) when she succumbed to cancer, the beast. Needless to say, the remainder of 2014 and the beginning of 2015 have passed by in much of a blur. I believe, in remembering daddy on the year anniversary of his passing, I began the questioning that led to my breakthrough.
See, daddy met my mom when I was already on my way and my sister was already 1 & 1/2 and he married all of us. This was not heard of much in the early 70's, but daddy did things his way. He loved mom, and he didn't want to let go of her. I often questioned why daddy would have been put in our lives. I spent so much of my time growing up, and a lot of it after becoming a mom myself, questioning so many things that revolved around daddy being a part of my life. Then, one very unexpected day last year, my relationship with daddy forever changed. But, a year later, I realize, that through the end of daddy's life, the end of our physical relationship, I have gained understanding to so many things that I previously questioned. Why, for example, was daddy brought into our lives? Well, the man biologically responsible for mine and my sister's birth was anything but a good example of what a man, husband & dad should be. Daddy showed my mom that abuse wasn't needed in a relationship/marriage. Daddy showed my sister and I the unconditional love that should flow from a dad to his daughters. Daddy showed my baby brother how to be a stand up dad and husband. Daddy showed me how it was possible to love family that did not genetically begin as your family.
I had a lot of questions and unsurities when I was in the midst of my physical relationship with daddy, no answers....until the end of that relationship. There is a very spiritual situation that has brought forth the same revelation. Some had to have questioned so many things about the birth and life and death of Christ. So many questions that in no way could have had answers at the time so desperately needed. But, the end of the life of Christ here on earth answered so many of those questions, answers that could only come from the end. The revelation of this has made me look at current situations in which I have an abundance of questions, situations in which I believe the best and right thing is to see the situations come to an end. This new revelation has me understanding that through the end of a given situation, we may, then and only then, understand the need for that situation. This has been such an amazing and liberating rainbow for me. I hope this revelation assists you who may as well be in the midst of your own abundance of questions.
All my love, me.
I have had a roller coaster of these situations this past year or so (maybe closer to 2 years) in which I have questioned myself so much over the recent past, I believe I am out of questions, well, at least for a moment. But, I have had a breakthrough recently that came, believe it or not, through the death and loss of my daddy. February 22, 2014 will be a date that will forever resound so very loudly in my head, not only was it my parents 40th wedding anniversary, but it was the day that the man I called daddy left my physical self. Just a few short months later, I also lost the woman I called Mama (yes, 2 sets of parents & I know I was blessed!) when she succumbed to cancer, the beast. Needless to say, the remainder of 2014 and the beginning of 2015 have passed by in much of a blur. I believe, in remembering daddy on the year anniversary of his passing, I began the questioning that led to my breakthrough.
See, daddy met my mom when I was already on my way and my sister was already 1 & 1/2 and he married all of us. This was not heard of much in the early 70's, but daddy did things his way. He loved mom, and he didn't want to let go of her. I often questioned why daddy would have been put in our lives. I spent so much of my time growing up, and a lot of it after becoming a mom myself, questioning so many things that revolved around daddy being a part of my life. Then, one very unexpected day last year, my relationship with daddy forever changed. But, a year later, I realize, that through the end of daddy's life, the end of our physical relationship, I have gained understanding to so many things that I previously questioned. Why, for example, was daddy brought into our lives? Well, the man biologically responsible for mine and my sister's birth was anything but a good example of what a man, husband & dad should be. Daddy showed my mom that abuse wasn't needed in a relationship/marriage. Daddy showed my sister and I the unconditional love that should flow from a dad to his daughters. Daddy showed my baby brother how to be a stand up dad and husband. Daddy showed me how it was possible to love family that did not genetically begin as your family.
I had a lot of questions and unsurities when I was in the midst of my physical relationship with daddy, no answers....until the end of that relationship. There is a very spiritual situation that has brought forth the same revelation. Some had to have questioned so many things about the birth and life and death of Christ. So many questions that in no way could have had answers at the time so desperately needed. But, the end of the life of Christ here on earth answered so many of those questions, answers that could only come from the end. The revelation of this has made me look at current situations in which I have an abundance of questions, situations in which I believe the best and right thing is to see the situations come to an end. This new revelation has me understanding that through the end of a given situation, we may, then and only then, understand the need for that situation. This has been such an amazing and liberating rainbow for me. I hope this revelation assists you who may as well be in the midst of your own abundance of questions.
All my love, me.
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