Choose Your Words....with Compassion

So, I am a very literal person. This means a lot of different things, I have a larger vocabulary than you might think, I analyze more than most, then I over analyze. Today has been one of those days. So, my word of the day became "OBLIGATION". Let's define this word before we go any further.

Per Google:

ob·li·ga·tion  ˌäbləˈɡāSH(ə)n/  noun

noun: obligation; plural noun: obligations

an act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound; a duty or commitment.

"he has enough cash to meet his present obligations"

synonyms:

duty, commitment, responsibility, moral imperative; More function, task, job, assignment, commission, burden, charge, onus, liability, accountability, requirement, debt; literarytrust "no obligation may be placed upon you without your consent" compulsion, duty, indebtedness; duress, necessity, pressure, constraint "he felt an obligation to tip well"

• the condition of being morally or legally bound to do something.

  "they are under no obligation to stick to the scheme"
• a debt of gratitude for a service or favor.

  "she didn't want to be under an obligation to him"

 

So, given the above definition and explanation, I want to discuss depression. While in an extremely dark place recently, I sent a text to someone, truly not expecting a response. However, I did receive a response and the combination of the conversation with this person and some personal insight, I came once again through the darkness that threatened to consume me.

 

Fast forward about a week afterwards and I arrange to see this person, specifically to say thank you but also just because this person means so much to me. So, this person sees me, lets me say thank you but then throws a cinder block at my face. I can't reach out to this person any longer I'm told. Though I have expressed that I wasn't reaching out with my text. Ok, that's enough, right? No. Then I am told that they only reason they responded and helped me was because they were obligated to do so.

 

WHOA! What?!? I have only ever allowed myself to reach out to 2 people at my darkest times throughout my life. This was one of them. I was just told they were obligated to help me! I don't know that I have ever been so hurt in my entire life, and that's saying a lot! Someone who is literal becomes devastated to bother anyone, but to be an obligation? Then, mental illness makes one paralyzed to letting others see your real self and you always feel yourself to be a burden. I am so glad this person did not choose my darkness to reveal that I was such a burden to them and waited until I was in the light again before doing so. However, should you ever say that to anyone, let alone someone with any mental illness?

 

Think about it this way, a parent tells a child that they are obligated to take care of, clothe, feed and love said child because they are obligated to do so. Imagine the damage done to that child! This is what has been done to me.

 

Please, always use compassion with your words, especially if dealing with someone who suffers with mental or emotional illnesses or weaknesses. You do not know the depth of or the permanent nature of damage your words may cause.

 

My rainbow today....my mom and my oldest daughter.  Thank you both for your insights, love and compassion given to me today.

 

All my love, ME.