History Rewritten

Do you know what you want? I’m at a cross roads with this question right now. I know what I want. But, I knew what I wanted before. I was on the path that would have led me there. A very long time ago, I was going after what I wanted. I was achieving goals that I had thought were unattainable. I was becoming sure and proud of myself. I felt strong. I had a handle on my mental health. I was a focused mom. I went back to school. I was on my way!

Do you know what’s happened to you? Well, they say hind sight is 20/20, however, they do not also tell you that this perfect vision not only comes at a price but that it will likely be painful to view. This is where I am right now with my vision. I can see very clearly what happened to derail me all those years ago. It has happened before. A repeat of circumstances. I worked really hard the last time I came to this very similar fork in the road. I made promises to myself. I sought out what type of warning signs I could watch for and be weary of. I made a note of things to avoid, behaviors to pay attention to and stay away from.  But, in the end, here I am again, I have repeated my past. I have again become stuck!

Do you want to keep living this way? NO! I absolutely do not want to keep living like this and repeating my past over and over. I want a new future. I want everything that I have not yet crossed off of my list. I want to get back on the path that will lead me to the goals that I have so desired. I’ve taken some progressive steps towards these goals. I have made some positive changes within myself to better protect my future self from repeating these negative issues from my past. I have chosen to take further action in my life so that 5 or 10 years from now, when I once again receive my hind sight of perfect vision, I will not again see a repeat of my past and find myself at this all too familiar fork in the road.

But, instead my perfect vision will reflect the strength and courage that I exhibited in order to proceed to the next bend in the road. I want my vision to show me and others that it is more than just possible to change my unwritten destiny. I can break the negative lines of my ancestors and begin a new and positive picture for my future lineage to continue.