Grief Brings Love

So, I've been crazy lately, I thought literally I was sincerely going crazy, you know, committable type crazy. I was very worried about what was going on in my head. I made an appointment and went last week and was told that I was suffering from Serotonin Syndrome. I had a lot of blood work done. I was called Tuesday about my labs and had to go to the doctor yesterday. Y'all, I was devastated and hurt when I stepped on the scales. I had gained 5lbs in just a week.

I'm so very focused on this when I'm in the room waiting for the doctor. She tells me that normal thyroid numbers are 0 to 3. 3 is the absolute max of ok. Mine was 6.2....triple their max! I was shocked. She explained that the weight gain, heart flutters, hyper anxiety, headaches and tons of other issues I've been experiencing are most likely due to the thyroid numbers. I have hypothyroidism.

To add to my list of issues...now I have to worry about my thyroid numbers! I've seen first hand what can happen if those numbers get to low. I've witnessed first hand someone seemingly having a stroke, paramedics even thought it was a stroke. But, it wasn't a stroke. His numbers got deathly low! So, I have to worry about my sugar as I am hypoglycemic. I've dealt with mental illness for as long as I can remember in depression and anxiety. I've had and continue to have every kind of headache available. I have an as yet to be diagnosed autoimmune illness. I now have Serotonin Syndrome and hypothyroidism.

I'm too tired for words y'all. Then, a friend of my son and oldest daughter passed recently. We went to his public memorial today at a Catholic Church. He was also Hispanic. I didn't understand everything that was said and sang in Spanish, but, I felt it. I've never been to a mass before. It was soul touching. I heard and felt and thought so very much during the service.

Most importantly, I found my rainbow. My daughter and several of her high school friends that have always called me momma were together again. I had so much love given to me. So many memories discussed. So much laughter had.

It took a memorial to bring me a much needed rainbow and I will treasure that experience for a very long time.  R.I.P. sir. Thank you to all of my kids by birth and not. I love you always!!

All My Love,
Me